Life in Nigeria

The Nigerian Hustle

The Nigerian Hustle

I just used to sit and imagine what females go through. Including the Natural Monthly wahala that if some don’t see their own copy, all hell will break loose! Like say na person send dem news! As I was saying, the one that used to burst ma head pass is the fact that some of them will spend all their lives saving that pinkie (make I call the full name?), and den one dude from no where will just come and tear the carton! Like seriously! To make it worse again is the fact that they will have one perfect gentleman by their side who they will b forming shakara for oh! Then they will go back to that random guy again for round 2! How does sh!t like dat work? How do you respect that kind of person?

Okay anoda instance, wuna go dey skul dey hustle oh!, and the whole world knows dat dis particular babe no sabi shingbain but she go comot that school leave u weh dey do na me sabi book pass (No offence, but we have some hard working sisters out there oh!) wuna dey wait make I tell wuna how dat magic happen Don’t worry! I will soon unveil it to you! But this case happens to some guys to oh! Especially the wealthy lazy ones! They be like “Guy I must get 2.1 for this school!” and u will sit there imagining how that jazz takes place. Well I don’t think that hole was given to u ladies to make us feel like we don’t know where we belong! After NYSC, some of them will call you n be asking if you can hook them up with a job! How do you want to work for someone when you have no skill! Nobody needs dead weight in their office. All they want are assets. It is not all about accumulating papers called certificates and feeling proud of yourself! Doesn’t work that way!

In a way I blame parents for what we have today and I see a worse generation coming up! Its so far from cool! The spoiling is on another level! Why do we Nigerians like doing things at the extremes! Especially mothers!!!!!! Life is not do or die, you know! There is this silent competition that goes on between families! And na momsi dem sabi ginger that nonsense pass. Because their neighbour has an ML Jeep, their husbands(our fathers) must buy their own! Because, their neigbour is renovating their house, our own must be renovated! That what I call classic 5-year-old behaviour! Females have been shopping their whole live and they still don’t have what to wear! Smh! Back to spoiling the pikins; they won’t read for exams but they want to pass! God will hang the person that created the word “expo” and then the one that started its use! Now morons, buffoons and olodos won’t go and read their books and they will b expecting “expos” on the day of the exams! Can we b long-sighted for once! What will happen tomorrow!

Enuff sed


Sound of Music or Sound of Guns

sound of music
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and worm woolen nittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things!

Girls in a white dresses with a blue satin sashes. Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs. These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings. When I’m feeling Sad. I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.

Sound of Guns
Teardrops on bruises and whisky on breathings. Bright hover battles and cold woolen meetings. Bomb paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of their favorite things

Boys in a green dresses with a black hating ashes. Bloodflakes that stay in my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs. These are a few of their favorite things

When the dog lie ,when the bee sings. When I’m feeling happy. They simply remember their favorite things and then they don’t feel so bad .


A Feeling Of Love

I’m here and she is there, a distance I can not get a ride to. How come she is here in my brain and heart,sometimes I think I’m being stupid but this feeling of love I can’t control. I’m having sleepless nights and getting hungry for her, I know this might take sometime and may not end as it should because there is a part of me and you that love doesn’t know.

A fight between my emotions and my reason, this time around my emotion is winning and I can’t do anything about it. Listening to love songs first thing in the morning and last at night,looking at her pictures wishing she was by my side.

You are in love or u will some day so stop fighting it. I swear it is a blissful feeling.


Major Thoughts

I am here thinking as I always do. but finally I got to a point I could place all my thoughts into certain groups. I also got to understand that every person falls into 1 or all of this groups most times, until they have felt to have found themselves.
1.The want to find the meaning of life.
2.What is their purpose.
3.How can they best serve to feel fulfilled.

Group 1 most time takes a life time to figure out. 2 and 3 gets figured out almost the same time. If you find out your purpose,you can use it to serve. If u find the best way to serve and fill fulfilled,most times that is your purpose or you can make it your purpose.



Life is a short trip,I dnt need a jet for dat,I’ll ride on a tortoise:D Taking my time enjoying Life



In everything Family comes first, can’t imagine what life will be without them. They sometimes make u feel like u shldnt have been a part of them,but at the end,they are the best things in your life.

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BBM Connect

Okay ! I will tell u. This was how i met your mother,kids;
There was a phone then,called blackberry by a company RIM,it had a chating app like dat u do on ur palm. There was a third app,also for chating, Smoothie. I saw her at smoothie,invited her to my bbm,No dats not another phone Jnr,dats d’chat app.she accepted,den we got to know a lil about ourselves. Den talked her into coming to see me,which she did,i behaved my self dat day being the first. Den she came two days after n’we had dis volcanic sex. It was really gooder.

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humans vs Enipheni

Men fear what they can’t understand, hate what they can’t conquer,so I became the terror of men. I’m just a human who needs other humans. Enipheni

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Ibukun Oluwa is all that we have, no one knows the way.



Care! Friendship! Love!

Which would it have been?

The sweet voice that says sorry,

When you slip but not fall.


The ship that wants to sail with you,

Under weathers, calm or strong.


The combination of this two,

With emotions and power to do the unthinkable.

The feeling of bliss,

As love making makes two lovers reach their climax.

We could mark, from stones to trees.

Nothing lasts like things of the heart.

Whatever comes from the heart and its language is love.

This is nothing but true happiness.

Which would it have been?

None of this three; care! Friendship! Love!

But a blessing of heaven, hidden among us.

I care.

I want to carry you in my ship.

When the weather is calm or stormy.

I love:

My emotions from the waterfalls.

My unthinkable actions have no bounds.

Meeting your bliss as we climax.

For me:


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A cool evening, no dust cos the earth is wet.

Spending time with a long friend,LOL.

Will fall in love even if we just met.

Talking about life’s deep issues.

What is life?

Are we just here to keep walking?

Like Johnny walker.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

It is a black label, Johnny walker.

Normal people indoors while we walk around and talk.

Man wasn’t made to be indoors, he said.

Every time in a box, I said.

Awesome, we not normal.

I took out the bride and wrapped her in a white gown.

A little light and she burned for this union.

The self wedding other souls, more like a reunion.

This is not the first, second or third time.

I think we all lost count.

Something must be keeping the account.

Life is beautiful he said ,

as the harsh clouds escaped his mouth.

We just make it complicated, I said.

Every pass from my fingers to his, this must be heaven.

Normal people thinking about hell,

Why we think about how well.

Why should I think of God’s wroth?

I am his haven.

His loving wrought.

He took out a green-white capsule.

Pop! Pop!

Out they went and down this road inside of us.

I feel great. No! We are the greatest.

Talking about business,

then a wife and a mistress.

Call Presia, tell her we could get high and have a threesome.

He joked.


But why?

It isn’t Normal.

We three ain’t normal.

My dick got hard.

Grabbed it and said fuck the world like Dick Nelson.

Come on, who is Dick Nelson.

I just said it, sounded right, personifying my dick.

Picked up my phone, wore my goggle.

Typed into a box called google.

Here you are, a writer and an actor.

We love to be filled with knowledge.

The normal person wants to be known with knowledge.

Sat on a red with a little brown pattern couch and watched two beautiful movies.

It is into mid-night,

Looked at each other and said,

Thank God we not normal.

Guess what?

Normal is asleep.

Best part of not normal is alive.




A love day filled with joy and laughter.

Went to the cinema after.

A breeze of beauty passed me by.

Acknowledgement and denial,

My normal self but still a cosmic pawn.

Choices are given, options limited.

Couldn’t wait to see another dawn.

A beautiful sunrise by the pool,

Affirmations made.

Seeing a brighter day,

But this was a different night.

What you deny, another acknowledges.

Followed my heart, talked to a Fairy.

Wasn’t myself but a conversation sprung.

A million shades of color to watch, Taken.

Far in my heart, a perfect geometry.

Three times a vision in one night,

Without a try.

̈́ ̈́Sean ̈́ Mickey ̐ ̈́ NΔvy ¢яєω☑ سُبْحَانَكَ

Numbers to make a future for us both,

And it did.

Chats with a friend, I just made.

The sunrise with a new face.

That of my friend.

Missed and hoped for another day for our eyes to lock.

Our thoughts created one.

The thirteenth

Two days after,

A mother’s day.

A logical game to play.

A king to die for, a kingdom with loyalty.

Gave me a plant and high I was,

With the speed of light.

Time moved slow but never stopped,

Wished it did.

Now I miss my fairy.

Evening came and the sun travelled.

I am here alone thinking how I got marveled,

By my Fair Fairy.




vicky,i call her cute.she is actually cute,small eyes,nose,lips,fingers.she just has everything in the right proportion.A long hair and a smile with dimples that gives him life. Him! Him! That comes to the guy writing this bull shit and that guy is


and it all started like this;
I met vicky through her cousin Andy,who happens to be my very good friend.she was so cute and i found her attractive ever since but she was so young,at first that was what i thought,found later i was wrong to judge love by age. Vicky took up the courage to ask me out one beautiful morning,in my house,we both sat on the couch. I told her i was more like a brother to her,because i didnt want to spoil the friendship i had wit Andy. She felt bad and asked me to kiss her and i did. Soft small lips,dat i picked both with my mouth,it was nice but short,like a drop of water for a thirsty man but that was what i chose.she was not happy with me from that day and our friendship dwindled.
Time passed,full moon to full moons. I got back to town and apologized and she accepted. Came over one other time and we had a nice romantic moment,dont let your mind drift there,we didnt hav sex because her mama called,i took her pants though,white and netty,i have it till now.
I left town again and time passed as usual. Spoke on the phone once in a blue moon but i had her on my mind all dat time. I got back and had to beg again on my knees,i didnt know why i couldnt let her go,we started all over again.This time we made love twice and took sexy pictures of her. I left again for the capital city for a job,i failed again didnt keep in touch.she told me she got a room off campus and was now using a blackberry. I didnt even ask for her pin although i was using one. No serious reason why i was doing all this to love than i had to put my mind on making money and felt love was a distraction. I came back to town but couldnt see her.because her cousin Andy was around and he never supported our relationship. I made up my mind to be done with love,because it makes me weak and i become too emotional when i put my heart to it and easy to be taking advantage of. I blocked my heart up and freed my reasoning faculty,i lived,ate,talked,slept,fucked by reason. Life became so boring and i traced it back to not having my heart do nothing else but pump blood. I was surviving but not living so i took a bold step to turn things around,to go for all my heart wanted. Got back to town,apologized and got to see her,i wanted her as my wife because she makes me happy.
Vicky showed up in my house and talked about how i forgot her and expect she will always be here waiting for me to come back,i told her i will stay in town permanently for her. She agreed,came back one day and we made sweet love. Thought of d reason i couldnt let her go and it was that she makes me happy when ever she is around and time just stops and i never wanted her to go and when she does i become sad.i could tell her anything and we do not shout about anything,no mood swings or nags.
I didnt see vicky again after that day but talked and lot of chats on the phone. In me was a molten lava ready to escape,i was madly in love and already too emotional. I just wanted to see my cute again,she will say she was coming but i will not see her. I called one saturday i was to see her and she said she.was sick and i asked to come over and she said yep. I was so happy to see her and she didnt look sick,she was on a blue bum short and a sleeveless silky top. This very day was her moment of truth. She made me spaghetti for lunch,it was delicious and i realy wanted more like her younger brother did. I was all over her,i made sure i held a part of her to myself,from her hands,waist to legs,smelling her hair. If you are good imagining and have been in love,you can picture the bliss and the million butterflies in me,d million sounds that made perfect harmony in me. All this sweet thing died in her moment of truth.
She stood up and said you really wanna marry me,when you left many guys came along and she wanna get married to one “Segun”,he is also Andy’s friend and was introduced to her by Andy. She was like he is about to get a job and they are planning an introduction for next year and her mum already knows. My heart stopped for few minutes and i started to wish for air to fill my lungs,my heart cracked immediately but this time it wasnt love but tears that never rolled down from my eyes. Oh! Fuck it,am getting angry with myself again but i will go on with her moment of truth.
So vicky said a lot of good things about segun and how he had a wide chest and i didnt. I had to beg her to stop because i didnt wanna cry in front of her. I told her i was leaving she told me to wait and said she.wasnt.breaking up with me,just wanted me to know the truth. In me i was like am on the bench while segun plays the match,i was now an option not a choice. Its been ages i felt the way i felt this day. She asked me to work her to go fix her phone,on our way i almost walked infront of a bus. She got touching me and told me she will wait for me and i should get serious with what ever am doing so i can take good care of her as a wife. We laughed and and held each other often. I became happy again but had mu doubt. I walked her home gave her a kiss and she said she will see me on monday. I called on sunday afternoon she didnt pick up or reply my chats. I sent her a text asking if yesternight wasnt just to console me. She replied she just got home and i told her to take a warm bath and rest. I tried to send her a song by sally saltman “heart that’s pounding” but wouldnt upload but i kept on trying till monday. I waited for her arrival but didnt see her all morning. Called her in the afternoon but she wldnt pick up,gave her time and called severally,sent chats and text messages. It started raining in the evening and i kept on calling,i was disturbed and worried. I watched a movie to get it off but it became worse so i called again and she didnt pick up,sent her a text if.she was fine and she replied “am fine,tnx”. Please if you were me what will be running through your mind? I’m madly in love with cute but i think she is in love with someone else,am in a relationship i can not define. I eventually sent the song and that was around 1:30am,took a sleepimg pill so i could sleep which i started on saturday night. I had Bokoharam in my brain planning an explosion. I woke up still thinking about Vicky and it was still raining and cold,i made my self a cup of tea and decided to put this in writing cos it made my heart so heavy. I have done dat now and the rain just stopped and i dont feel any better. I still wanna see her,hold and kiss her on d forehead. Am also thinking am getting selfish about this love but the impulses of love the heart cant withstand.
Vicky didnt pick my calls again so i sent her a text i was coming to her house and she replied “sorry,i cant continue with you”. I became became unstable,tried to get a reason but she wldnt say then later said she was in love with someone else. Another night of sleeping pill,alcohol and a lot of cigarette.
I had said i will not give my heart to love again but i decided to give it another try and every time i give it a try it is always an axe to my heart.
Conclusion,her moment of truth made me realise that love only exist in scripts,then ends up in a book or Tv screen.
To fall in love is actually a mistake,to be loved is so much pride. I have tried both and it is all vanity,trust me.